P.S: Stick Around For More

This Blog Is About Me And Some...

Deleting my old blog pleased me.

Which makes it worse.

Okay. What can you expect from this blog?

Anything and everything under the sun.

With a slight difference.

My cynicism added to the mix.

I'm sure you've heard it all before.

But not my version!

Et Zut!

It's getting worse and worse. I seriously can't take another 'padded panties'. A month ago I booked an appointment by my local gyneco for today. I gave it a miss. Why? My cousin came to see me today and I found out she was having the same problems. She then recommended me her trusted gyneco. So I called and found he is out of the country and will be back tomorrow. I'll drop by him tomorrow and see what he says. :(

It Can't Be

For almost a month I've been bleeding and clotting incessantly. I don't know what's wrong with me. I can't remember the last time I had sex. But the last time I had sex was superb. (I just contradicted myself there didn't I? Mehh..) And I think Mr Spreading really spread that night. Oh yes it was at night-time! Anyhoodle, 2 weeks of uterus oozing blood, I'm feeling preggy! It can't be right? This morning I woke up with a wobbly stomach. Usually in the mornings I have a heavy breakfast. But I can't even think about tea or toasts right now. I had to sit down and catch my breath until I hiccupped. I felt better then but now it's back again.

I booked an appointment with the local gyneco and I won't see her until next week! What a bummer!

Diet What?!

Besides ugliness, the weight factor preys on women's minds.

I passed the first factor. I mean I'm not ugly. I used to turn more heads though, before the weight issue actually became an 'issue'!

Weighing around 48 Kgs in my late teens early 20s, I was living the dream. Men whistled at me. I was being stared at and groped at. In a nice way. My breasts and bouncy ass were the main focus in my anatomy. I loved it. Who wouldn't? Unless you're crazy. Or you're in plain denial.

Like I said everything was great. I even managed to sweep off the cutest guy off his long athletic legs. (Just because you're curious: he was a football player! Oh yea go on drool...)

As you probably guessed, it didn't end well. We went our separate ways. Body still banging, like a butterfly I was sniffing every flower which smelled good. (I heard you! I WAS not a whore you biatch!)

Anyhoodle, life was treating me good until I met Mr Spreading. Then it got better. He is my type after all. But nobody told me that those "seamen" would carry and deliver me on the portly side! I wasn't eating them for God's sake. I've heard of women losing extra pounds by sexcising. Not piling up on calories. Unless I'm missing something. (?)

Very soon though I found a remedy to lose unwanted weight. Oh yes! An unglamorous way. Nothing yucky. Everybody goes through it at some times or the other.

It is called S-T-R-E-S-S. Anxiety. Oppression. Depression. Poverty.

I was broke for 2 months almost 2 years ago. That two months of starvation got my jawline all prettily shaped up and my double-chin, still in its baby stage, vanished! Getting myself stressed on insignificant things pressed my belly back to its "original" shape.

Now when I say I'm stressed or feeling very very low, deep down inside...I'm happy! Very much. :)

If Only I Can Dispose of Humans As I Empty My Inbox

I was just checking my inbox when I came upon WMIL's email. I sent her my resume 2 months ago and now she replied. She was supposed to set me up for a job interview with one of her friends. Right now I don't mind staying home and do nothing. Mr Spreading doesn't have a problem with that either. She would like me to call her and plan something. I'm so tempted to send a reply saying, "I don't fucking need your help."

So why has she emailed me back today? I have an inkling she wants to know what's really happening at home and she wants me to update her. Hell no! If that's the case then she should bring back her ass and stay put by FIL's side! I won't succumb to her manipulative self.

I was having such a nice day before I read her email... *sighs*

I Wish WMIL Will Go MIA...For Good

Remember the wretched mother in law? I think she has someone spying on us. She called yesterday to 'investigate'. FIL (father in law) doesn't tell her everything that goes on at home. Somehow she finds out. And she never divulges her sources. She brushes our questions aside. But when you ignore her enquiries she gets crazy mad and stomps off like a child, via telephone.

So last night FIL talked to her and could no longer ignore her insistent questions about who's dealing with what. FIL is a very wise person. His diplomatic skills astound me. It's not in any conniving way. Bless him.

Anyhoodle, he tried yesterday to handle her as graciously as he could. But WMIL is cruel and in one way or another she got FIL all riled up. The phone conversation ended quite abruptly and on sour tones. So this morning everybody is hustling and dealing with what we gotta deal with, especially as it's month-end, so that WMIL won't have any reason to grate on our nerves.

Mr Spreading and I will be glad to tell her what she deserves to hear but out of love and respect for FIL our tongues remain tied.

What a bummer!

It's About Me...Again

My selfish streak is kicking in and insists that I let y'all know more stuff about me. How can I refuse?!

So I'm putting up 10 genuine facts about me. For starters.

1. My name is not Avery Spreading. I had a light-bulb moment looking for a fake name to blog under while going through baby names!

2. I love kids and would love to have a couple of bambinos of my own. Not sure I'll ever have one though.

3. I'm allergic to wine! Would you believe that? Despite what the blog title says...I'll dedicate a post to why I chose 'Sipping on Wine' as title.

4. I like older men. Mr Spreading fits the bill to a T. Literally.

5. I used to swing both ways.

6. I'm scared of death. Out of boredom I sometimes think of ways I'd prefer to die.

7. I lost my virginity without even knowing it. It was that good.

8. I used to dream of becoming an actress and being interviewed by Oprah on The Oprah Winfrey Show.

9. I speak more than one language.

10. Would you believe how hard it was to write down these 9 points? Not because I don't know what to write but I'm watching Mindfreak! How cool is Criss Angel?!

X Factor 2009

No longer living in London, one thing I miss the most is X Factor. Similar to American Idol. So now I have to rely on YouTube and other related sources to watch the performances of this year's participants. What a bummer!

Anyhoodle, scouring YouTube for the latest auditions I chanced upon this one.

Danyl Johnson.

He is too good. I hope he gets enough votes to be in the finals.

Check it out for yourself.

Ain't he awesome?

Sullen Saturday Night

Okay here's the thing. If you've read my profile you know that I said I wouldn't post anything about me. The fact is I'm so selfish and I have to tell y'all (whoever is reading) about M.E! So count on reading snippets about my selfish and vain self from time to time.

So back to tonight...A Sullen Saturday Night. I'm bored out of my mind. At 9 p.m. I'm already in my jammies watching Sweet Home Alabama and perusing some blogs of interest. And I got the munchies. I haven't decided on what I'll be having for dinner. Most probably I'll end up downing a couple of pizza slices followed by a cold soft drink. Way to go! Feeding my gut with calories I don't really need right now. It's summer and I need to work on my beach body. Yes. I can't wait to fit back into my sexy bikini again. All the more to feel grumpy tonight.

Meh...let me go find something to snack on until I get dinner.

Totally Random

Nature, more of a stepmother than a mother in several ways, has sown a seed of evil in the hearts of mortals, especially in the more thoughtful men, which makes them dissatisfied with their own lot and envious of another's.

Beautifully quoted by Desiderius Erasmus.

It reminds me of all the people suffering in this world, especially the Indonesians. My kind prayers are with you.

Do You Do Long Distance Marriages?

Born in the 80s, my point of views on major topics very often clash with those of my parents. Except when it comes to marriage. We carry the same values on that subject. That is, you have to respect and hold true to all the vows you pronounce on your wedding day. When I got married, I know some dreams of mine wouldn't be realized and they need to be crossed off of my bucket list. I was ready to compromise and I've never looked back since.

But this post is not about me nor my marriage. It's about someone who's been married for 23 years and counting. That's a record isn't it? Nowadays it's quite rare to meet folks with 20 and odd years of marital bliss. Unless it's your grandparents! But in this day and age it's a feat. Pardon my cynicism.

That woman is none other than my mother in-law! An overbearing mother in-law. A control freak. A someone-who-thinks-I-care-of-what-she-thinks-about-the-way-I-live-my-life woman! She feels that it's her duty to tell me what's right and wrong for me. On top of being arrogant and sanctimonious, my beloved mother in-law believes in no-sex-before-marriage thingy. I'm neutral on that. At the end of the day it's your choice if you want to or not.

Anyhow, what I can't understand is how can she find fault with everyone else but herself when she lives miles away from her husband?! All in all, she has never spent a full damn year with her spouse. Her priority is her job/career. I'm not saying a married woman shouldn't work. Far from that. But her job takes her miles away from her man. Nearing her 60s and she's not thinking of throwing the towel yet. That's a no-no for me. Everybody in the locality frowns upon her long-distance marriage. Not that I'm a fan of the society but I couldn't disagree with them on this subject.

Maybe one day I'll muster enough courage and give my mother in-law my more than 2 cents worth of opinions!

Snakes In My Paradise

Don't we all have at least one snake in our backyard? I got more than one and I've decided to chronicle each one of their contemptuous shots at my reputation and happiness.

If you like gossip then watch the space! I'm bringing nastiness back! :)